Youngsters always have some secret wishes of their own that they would like fulfilled. But one youth wished so much one would've on the face of it thought of him as quite mad or living in a fantasyland. John Goddard, an American, at the age of 15 set down 127 goals that he wanted accomplished during his life-time. As wishes go, one would generally like things free or without having to sweat for it. But in the case of Goddard he was to realise each one through his own toil. By the age of 59, incredibly as it may seem he had achieved 106 of them! He wanted to take off and land an aircraft on an aircraft carrier, to climb Mount Everest, to compose a work of music, to paddle the length of the two longest rivers in the world the Amazon and the Nile, and to visit the moon! During one river adventure, he suffered a serious setback - his colleague was drowned, but he carried on - plagued by mosquitoes, pursued by river bandits and at one stage he even had a clash with hippos. What was his secret for achieving these super human goals?
Firstly, Goddard had the audacity to dream big, then he dared and willed confidently, and each accomplished goal gave him more confidence and impetus to proceed to the next one.
From time to time, lack of confidence plagues many of us and those who overcome this go on to live successfully and contentedly. Those who shy away go on to develop into failures.
No one is born with confidence. It has to be attained. Do you remember your first dive into the deep end of a swimming pool? The more you hesitated the more afraid you became, but if you were suddenly pushed in by a friend, then you most probably lost your fear and thenceforth started diving with a new found confidence. Your inadvertent action cured your fear. Therefore, to build confidence one must destroy fear, through action. Psychologists tell us that we can change our attitudes by changing our action. Dr. George W. Crane in "Applied Psychology" says," Motions are the precursors of emotions. You cannot control the latter directly but only through your choice of motions or actions." The act of smiling can lead to a happy state of being. A smile will give you and the other persons a real boost. A big smile overcomes fear and melts away worry and any opposition of others. Advertising agencies never forget this principle. Dr. Melvin S. Hattwick, an advertising psychologist, comments, "When the feeling aroused is pleasant, the advertisement has a better chance of being remembered." And in contrast try to frown a really bitter frown and see if you do not feel like frowning more. Similarly, even if you do not feel particularly confidant about doing something try at least, to act confidently and you will automatically gain confidence. person, who often feels awkward about meeting new people try the following confidence exercise :
· reach for the other person's hand, clasp it warmly,
· look directly at the other person and
· say something like, "I am very glad to know you."
These simple steps will actually give you confidence.
Marshal Fuch's battalion, whilst fighting a major battle during World War I, just outside Paris, was really incapacitated, but Fuch's message to headquarters was, "My right wing is paralysed, my left wing has given away, but the situation is excellent." Amazingly, he fought and won the battle - the battle that saved Paris. He had decided to win and he acted confidently. He looked at this discouraging situation positively. Negative thoughts if left to fertilize can grow into mental impasse, which can hamper one's confidence as well as pave the way to serious psychological difficulties. Therefore, Rule 2 for building confidence is to deposit only positive thoughts in one's memory and withdraw only positive thoughts, otherwise as in computer programming, it will be a case of, "Garbage In, Garbage out."
People who are down hearted or "beaten" in life e.g. beggars, layabouts, nervous wrecks will walk slowly, with heads drooping and slumped shoulders. They have zero confidence. So Rule 3 is to walk with your head held high and shoulders straightened and meet life head on.
The fourth and most essential rule is to pray. Many have obtained confidence by praying sincerely. With the mightiest power backing you, there is nothing to fear.
A practice in these four simple rules will increase your confidence and prove for yourself what Emerson once said, "They conquer who believe they can."